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About Giving

The act of giving gifts began with early man. It was a visual sign of respect and affection which often bonded one person to another, one culture to its members, cultures to other cultures, villages to other villages, cities to other cities, states to other states, nations to other nations.

Anthropologists suggest that gift giving has evolved from the earliest foundations of humanity through to the present time. Gifts have had different meanings in various cultures and religious organizations. From each of these a common thread seems to have been that a gift is a symbol of bonding, of making relationships stronger. This is especially prevalent among tribes and early villages and cities, where gifts were a requirement for maintaining and building lasting relationships and alliances.

As humans formed families, tribes and communities, gift giving took on another significance. It became a duty in many religions to give or share one’s good fortune with those who had less. Texts from both the Old and New Testament of the Bible are replete with admonitions of sharing one’s material goods with those less fortunate. They can be found in Deuteronomy, Proverbs, John, Matthew, the Acts of the Apostles, and Paul to name a few. Similar examples are evident in the Torah and Koran, and are noted in the writings of Buddha and taught in the Hindu religion. So man in his relationship with his God has found the giving of gifts to be an essential part of that relationship.

Within and among nations gift giving took on varying significances. For example, long before the practice of giving gifts on Christmas became customary, the exchanging of gifts on January 1st was in vogue. The idea behind this practice was more than likely to give something auspicious or memorable as a way to wish the recipient the best for the new year. The Celtic-Teutonic Druids used to make a gift of their holy plant, mistletoe, at the beginning of the year. Among the Romans such gifts were called ‘strenae’, a word said to be derived from the goddess of luck, Strenia. At first the gifts were branches from the sacred trees meant for wishing recipients an auspicious New Year. Later objects like gilded nuts and coins bearing the imprint of Janus, the god with two faces, hence January.

Rome had also developed a custom of presenting gifts to the emperor. But later the spirit ceased to exist and a ‘forced payment’ replaced the ‘gifts’. This went on for several centuries until the practice was forbidden by Pope Leo I the Great in 458AD.

English royalty also began to force their subjects in the matter of New Year’s gifts as early as the time of Henry III (1216-72). Queen Elizabeth was very watchful of the “who’s and what’s” of the giving and received great amounts in jewels and gold on New Year’s Day. She systematized the practice to the extent of keeping descriptive lists of the gifts presented to her from all walks of life. However, following the splendor of Queen Elizabeth’s reign, the practice declined. Finally, when Oliver Cromwell and the Puritans came into power, the custom stopped.

The New Year gift exchange was also a common practice among the ordinary English people until the Victorian regime. Gloves were a usual gift. Also popular were oranges stuck with clove, used to preserve and flavor wine. When the English had settled in America they brought in the tradition and continued to exchange gifts and presents at the New Years. So did the French. Thus we find the predominantly French in New Orleans continued with the New Year’s practice for a long time. And in France, even today gifts and greeting cards are presented on New Year’s Day.

So how did some of the present day gift practices begin? Let’s take Mother’s Day. Long ago in ancient Greece, people honored Rhea, the Mother of the Gods, each spring. Much later, we find in England that folks paid homage to mothers on “Mothering Sunday”, the fourth Sunday of Lent. In the United States, Julia Ward Howe, author of the lyrics to the Battle Hymn of the Republic, suggested the idea of Mother’s Day in 1872. But it was through the letter writing efforts of Miss Anna M. Jarvis (1864-1948), who wanted to honor her mother, that Mother’s Day was finally recognized officially. That happened in its present day form on May 8, 1914 when the United State Congress officially adopted the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. Not only does the United States celebrate Mother’s Day on that date, so do Denmark, Finland, Italy, Turkey, Australia, and Belgium. Other countries also celebrate Mother’s Day, although not on the same day.

On Mother’s Day, we celebrate all of the women who have been mother figures in our lives – Stepmothers, Godmothers, Aunts, Grandmothers, Big Sisters, Scout Leaders, Sports’ Coaches, other special friends.

In a not too dissimilar fashion, Father’s Day was born. Sonora Dodd of the State of Washington wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart, a Civil War veteran who was widowed when his wife died while giving birth to their sixth child. He successfully raised his six children. As an adult, Sonora realized the selfless sacrifices of her father, and since he was born in June, she chose to celebrate the first Father’s Day in Spokane, Washington on June 19, 1910.

While President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father’s Day as early as 1924, it was President Lyndon Johnson, in 1966, who signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father’s Day. President Richard Nixon signed the law that finally made it permanent in 1972.

That day we celebrate all of the father figures in one’s life – Stepfathers, Godfathers, Uncles, Grandfathers, Big Brothers, Sports’ Coaches, Scoutmasters, special friends.

Christmas gift giving has its beginnings with the Roman festival, Kalends, that took place on January 1, during the Winter Solstice. The Roman Emperor received gifts from his administration.

As we noted earlier, the first gifts were evergreen branches, however, these were not a popular present. Eventually, replacing the evergreens were honey and cakes, more symbolic of a new year filled with sweetness and prosperity. In the United States, gift giving at Christmas began in the 1820’s, though it was advertised years earlier. By the 1840’s it became prominent in American society, taking a huge jump in the 1930’s when Coca-Cola incorporated Santa Claus into its marketing campaign.

When it comes to all occasion gifts, the literature becomes less substantial. For example, baby shower gifts were not always baby bottles and diapers for parents-to-be. Actually, friends didn’t give things to expectant parents, but rather waited, sometimes for quite a while after the birth, before sending gifts and other items to help out. This was primarily because of the high mortality rate in infants years ago.

Grandparents have always had a principal role in the practice of giving gifts at baby showers. In some cultures, grandmothers still make a baby blanket or small quilt for the newborn. Also grandmothers often gave the baby a gift of silver, which was held by the parents as a small inheritance for the child.

As times have changed and child birthing became more successful, baby showers began to precede the birth. While silver and gold may still be given to both mother and child, and also to the prospective godmother and godfather, other monetary gifts are customary, such as setting up funds for future college expenses.

Mothers, fathers, godmothers, godfathers, aunts, uncles, and special friends all celebrate the many accomplishments of new child. These go far beyond its birth, encompassing accomplishments as the first music recital, first baseball team, first soccer championship, a graduation, any significant accomplishment. And silver and gold gifts for any of these important people in the child’s life are appropriate.